In this New Year, take the opportunity to reinvent your life: make some strong, productive resolutions that will put you on the path to happiness and success this year. New Year’s resolutions can be an effective tool towards moving forward during your divorce – and there’s no better time to start than in January of 2016
1. Complete your divorce this year
If you have been delaying the divorce – either believing in reconciliation or because you want to bring about maximum irritation for your ex – it’s time to figure out what it is that both of you want. If your ex validates his/her desire to advance with the divorce, respect that decision and finish whatever paperwork is pending so that you can start your new life in the New Year.
2. Make the choice to be happy- now!
Happiness really is a choice! Look at the abundance of opportunities around you. Do something for yourself, get a mani-pedi, go on a date, read a good book, or buy yourself something nice.
3. Stop fighting battles from your dead marriage
Don’t use your lawyer or the court to try to resolve the emotional difficulties you have with your ex: it’s the most costly and least productive way to manage these disputes. Seek help from a therapist, life coach, or a friend for support.
4. Update your will, trusts, insurance policies, and estate plans
Hire a lawyer to create these revised documents. You can revoke your current will and make a new one. It is important to update your beneficiary designations for your insurance policies and the executor for your will. You can ensure that your children inherit your assets and property without any disputes with other family members.
5. Spend quality time with your children
Put your child’s needs above the anger you feel for your ex. Don’t allow your paint to make you become self-absorbed and stay in the moment. You will never be able to re-do your children’s childhood again, so try to be your best to your children. It is important to make sure that the time you have together counts.
6. Do not withhold visitation to hurt your ex
Children from divorces adapt faster and are happier if they have constant, significant contact with both parents.
7. Forgive your ex
Non-forgiveness keeps you bound to your ex forever through hatred. Forgiveness allows you to be free, and is one of the most loving things that you can do for yourself.
8. Forgive yourself
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness! We are not infallible, we make mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself because you are going through a divorce. If you were blinded during your marriage, forgive yourself for not seeing the signs. Being wound up over your divorce is not healthy—make time for relaxation and cope with your emotions.
For more information on divorces, contact The Law Offices Of Inna Vernikov, PLLC., located at 25 Broadway, 9th fl., New York, NY at (212) 729-3497, or e-mail us at info@vmlawnyc.com.