What is Electronic filing (e-filing)?

E-filing was designed to create a way for the courts to file documents in an efficient way while reducing the use of paper and cutting back on traffic in court houses. Prior to the opening of E-filing, divorce papers would be filed with the County Clerk’s office. Now filing fees are paid for online while filing the divorce papers.

The Filing Fee:

The cost of filing an uncontested divorce in New York county will cost at least $370.00 in filling fees. This fee does not include the cost of a lawyer, notary fees, mailing etc. The $370.00 includes the Index number which costs $210.00, the note of issue for $125.00, and the stipulation costing $35.00.

The Advantages of E-Filing:

E-filing has a number of advantages, including the reduction of paper use. While many states in America are finding new ways to be economically friendly and sustainable, e-filing has aided tremendously in this goal. Additionally, if there is a filing error the parties that filed online will receive a direct e-mail and directions on how to correct the issue, as opposed to receiving correspondence in the mail and having to go to court.

While using an e-filing system, you avoid running into any issues you normally would at a courthouse. This may include any interaction with a court clerk as they may come off as intimidating and impatient.
With e-filing you have access to your case 24/7. With traditional paper filing to gain access to your documents you would have to travel to the county clerk and also pay an additional fee to receive copies.

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Of course, there is no “quick fix” for couples who are struggling to maintain a calm and friendly environment, but there is a way to keep yourself busy and sane while maintaining unavoidable interactions. Now would definitely be a great time to get started on your spring cleaning or binge watch that series you’ve had your eye on for months. Additionally, for that necessary alone time, it’s best to take turns going to the grocery store for your necessities that way it gives both you and your spouse some space to de-stress and recuperate.

With social media being everyone’s current escape, we are seeing the current trending hashtags #divorceboom and #babyboom. It is no secret that being stuck inside your home with your partner will either make or break your marriage during the quarantine. Many lawyers believe that the divorce rate will rise once the quarantine is lifted, but not only due to the fact that you’re homebound indefinitely. Financial stress has many couples arguing to no end bringing them to the brink of divorce.

With many couples struggling financially, the majority of them are opting for marital mediation services as they are cheaper than the standard court proceedings and easier to come by with the current pandemic. Mediation can be more of an appealing idea now because it can offer a virtual way for couples to come to a mutually acceptable agreement. Since there will be an overload of cases for the courts to sort through once open again, mediation is a way for some of that burden to be lifted off of the courts.

With the end of this pandemic nowhere in sight it is best to accept the current situation you are in and create ways to cope with it safely and with peace of mind. It is absolutely a difficult time for everyone but to stay calm and patient is the best way to get past this it for everyone involved.

At Law Offices of Inna Vernikov PLLC, we handle complex matrimonial matters including divorce, mediation, child custody, child support, equitable distribution of marital assets, and spousal maintenance. Call us at today at (212) 729-3497 or learn more about how the Law Offices of Inna Vernikov can help you.

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Although many of us are struggling to change our daily routines, many parents are struggling on how to deal with kids being home from school indefinitely. It has become especially challenging for those parents who are divorced and have a shared custody agreement, leaving many to wonder how to continue abiding by their custody agreements.

So how are co-parents working through this difficult time? It is safe to say that communication is key and the only way to get through the pandemic as smoothly as possible. It is important for parents to remember that their children’s best interests must come first. Children are already struggling with the fact that there is a massive change in their everyday routine and adding the stress of custody differences between parents is not the best for the child.

Co-parenting During a Pandemic

In an agreement of shared custody, it is of course important for the child to have access to both parents as scheduled. But with the current pandemic it may get difficult for parents to abide by their set schedule, especially with the encouragement of “social distancing”. Many parents living nearby one another have amicably agreed to stick to their current custody schedule. But for parents that don’t live next to each other, it has become quite difficult to follow their standing agreement.

Some parents are choosing to split the kids up between households based on factors including health issues, dietary restrictions, and mutual interests making it easier for the co-parents to maintain a healthy and stress-free household.

More recently, the leaders from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and Association of Family and Conciliation Courts have released guidelines for co-parenting during the COVID-19 pandemic. Although most of these are obvious, they are a good reminder for those parents who feel overwhelmed to say the least:

1. BE HEALTHY.

Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

2. BE MINDFUL.

Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic, but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age appropriate.

3. BE COMPLIANT with court orders and custody agreements.

As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

4. BE CREATIVE.

At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, and games, and communication through FaceTime or Skype.

5. BE TRANSPARENT.

Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.

6. BE GENEROUS.

Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.

7. BE UNDERSTANDING.

There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances.

Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It’s important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.

Source: AFCC/AAML Press Release on Co-parenting during COVID-19.

For those that want to explore this topic in more depth, here is a 40 minute webinar from family non-profit FamilyKind that deals with Co-Parenting during the Coronavirus / COVID-19 pandemic:

The most important aspect in the current environment is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Set a good example for your children by showing them that they must regularly wash their hands and keep frequently touched areas free of germs. Don’t forget to be mindful when you are around your kids. It is important to be serious during a time like this but also important to remain calm as your kids look up to you on how to act during this time. Off course try to be as compliant as possible with the current court orders and custody agreements unless health restrictions prevent you from doing so. Now is the time to be as creative as possible. With your children at home it is important to maintain a schedule but also keep them entertained and have their minds working keeping them busy.

Honesty is the best policy now more than ever when communicating with your co-parent/former spouse. Be honest with them if you’re feeling unwell. After all it is better to be safe and take the appropriate precautions to protect your children. Don’t forget to be generous with your co-parent/former spouse. If circumstances don’t allow the given scheduled time with children, try to accommodate him or her for a later time and to allow time to be made up. And lastly, don’t forget to be understanding and patient. It is important to remember that you’re not the only one going through this rough time. Keeping these tips in mind should result in a smooth transition if both sides work together to keep it that way.

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Domestic partnership is a legal union of two individuals who have been living together continuously in a “close and committed personal relationship.” The domestic partner status provides some of the same benefits available to married couples. Some of those include family leave for child care, the ability for someone to remain in a rent-controlled apartment when their partner dies, the right to visit a partner in a city hospital or jail, and perhaps most significantly, eligibility for health insurance, life insurance, death benefits, and other such benefits.
To register for a Domestic Partnership in New York City, the two individuals must fulfill specific application requirements: both persons must be eighteen years of age or older and have a close and committed personal relationship while living together on a continuous basis for a minimum of six consecutive months. Additionally, both individuals must be New York City residents or have at least one individual be employed by the City of New York on the date of registration. Lastly, neither individual can be married or registered as a member of another domestic partnership within the last six months before registration.

While Domestic Partnerships offer more freedom than marriage, they do not provide as much protection and security. In contrast to an action for divorce, in order to dissolve a domestic partnership a couple must go through the process of dissolution, also known as termination. Although some couples have mutual feelings about the termination of their partnership and are able to pursue the process amicably, others may disagree on the terms of their “break up.” Since there is no legal protection in place for shared earnings in a domestic partnership as there is in a marriage, some couples negotiate what’s called a Cohabitation Agreement, (similar to a prenuptial agreement), in the early stages of their partnership.

It is important to be aware of the available options for couples who are ready to further their relationship. In the case of a domestic partnership, both individuals must do their due diligence and educate themselves on the entirety of the process to ensure an understanding of the partnership. Couples considering entering into a domestic partnership should retain an attorney to review and negotiate a Cohabitation Agreement which can be entered into while both individuals are fair-minded to protect the interests of each party. Our attorneys at Law Offices of Inna Vernikov have extensive experience drafting and negotiating Prenuptial and Cohabitation Agreements. Call us at today at (212) 729-3497to learn more about how Law Offices of Inna Vernikov can assist you.

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The greatest difficulty often relates to when the marriage began, which can dictate how assets are divided and whether a spouse receives alimony. Generally, when judges are determining how to award a lower-earning spouse a percentage of assets or alimony, the length of the marriage can play a pivotal role. The issue for many same-sex couples who are going through divorce proceedings is that they had been in the relationship much before the marriage took place — and some for quite a long time.

If a same-sex couple had lived together for numerous years before the 2015 decision and decides to divorce today, whether that union began after the legal start of the marriage or in the years prior is not legally clear. Even showing a joint bank account, lease, or other underlying proof may not be sufficient proof for the judge.

Similar complications emerge with matters of child custody. Whether a child was adopted or born to one of the parties, only one person in the relationship has legal parental rights even if both are raising the child. Therefore, when the couple decides to divorce, the non-legal parent’s lack of rights can prevent an ongoing relationship with the child.

From dividing assets to asserting parental rights, the process of divorce for same-sex marriages, as is today, comes with pressing issues and ambiguous proceedings. Contact an experienced matrimonial attorney to assist with your divorce. At Law Offices of Inna Vernikov PLLC,  we handle complex matrimonial matters including child custody, child support, equitable distribution and spousal maintenance. Call us at today at (212) 729-3497 or learn more about how the Law Offices of Inna Vernikov can help you.

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In recent years statistics show that 73% of pet owners have given greeting cards “signed” by a pet, 67% take their pets to the vet more often than they go to their own doctors, and 41% take their pets on vacation with them. These statistics show how involved and emotionally attached pet owners are to their pets. These emotions come into play when a couple is getting divorced and both parties want to keep the pet.

When married animal owners decide to go their separate ways, what happens to their pets? In contested matrimonial proceedings, courts are faced with having to split everything that a couple owns jointly. When courts divide property, they attempt to divide it as equitably as possible.

When it comes to child custody, courts recognize how important that decision is and approach it accordingly. However, assigning a pet to one spouse or the other does not fall within either property division or child custody. While courts traditionally treated pets as property, some divorce court judges in New York have begun to acknowledge that many owners regard their pets as far more important than houses and cars. Judges take this under consideration when determining which spouse will have possession of the pet.

Courts typically consider two options in determining which spouse will be given the family pet. The judge may be guided by property laws or by child custody laws.

In a 2015 New York Post article, a Manhattan Supreme Court judge Arthur Engoron is quoted saying that the most trying case of his career was deciding who gets custody of a mutt named Stevie. The judge declared Stevie to be co-owned between both parties. The lawyers urged the judge that this would not be possible since the parties do not get along. The judge advised the parties that if they could not come up with a co-parenting schedule for Stevie, Stevie would have to be put up for auction, as pets are considered property under the law. The judge also advised the parties, that they can’t steal or hide the dog. If one of the parties would engage in such behavior, the other side could come back and seek relief or they could go to the police. In this case, the judge took the route that he saw would be most beneficial for both parties and the pet. Since Stevie was being taken care of by both parties, it was only fair that both parties will be able to spend time with the pet going forward.

There are no set laws that judges turn to in order to determine who will receive pet custody. When buying a pet with your significant other, be sure to remember that the custody battle for that pet will not necessarily be in favor of one party over the other. Instead, the custody of the pet will be in the judge’s discretion.

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1. Don’t Seek Revenge

In the midst of a divorce, it is common to feel sadness, pain, and betrayal. However, holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Forgiveness is critical in every relationship and it is YOUR choice to let go of the experience of hurt and pain. Instead of holding on to hurt in order to protect yourself from the fear of future pain, you can choose to gift yourself with forgiveness and let go of the resentment. We often see our clients seeking revenge and it only takes away from you, causing unnecessary street and a burden on your mind and heart. Nelson Mandela once said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” No one wins when pain is left unresolved.

2. Before Getting Married, Execute a Prenuptial Agreement

Preparing for the case of divorce is an easy step to ensure that you don’t face financial ruin. A prenuptial agreement can ensure that the painful, elongated process of divorce can be as smooth and speedy as possible, for both you and your ex-spouse. Often times, our law office spends months in a court room with quarreling spouses, making the process stressful and very painful for both parties. To ease that burden, a prenup can simplify the whole process by delineating the exact terms of separation. A prenup will allow you to move on and start repairing your life much quicker. Without disputes and differentiating who deserves what, there is much less frustration to go around. Many couples don’t realize that the problem with divorces is that your property becomes so co-mingled during the time of your marriage that it is almost impossible to ascertain what is yours in the case of a divorce. Furthermore, sorting out the co-mingled property is tedious, expensive, and difficult to prove in court in the case of a divorce. To make matters worse, feelings are hurt during a divorce, and without a prenup, a vengeful ex-spouse can try and seize everything. A prenup can protect you during what can be one of the most heart-breaking and stressful occurrences in your life.

3. Secure your Credit Score

If you and your spouse share joint credit accounts (e.g. mortgage or credit cards) and your ex-spouse begins to make late payments or stops paying altogether, you are still responsible to pay those bills. Failure to do so can hurt your credit, but if you’re on amicable, cooperative terms with your ex-spouse, you may be able to work out mutually beneficial payment arrangements. You can also open a new bank account and request a copy of your credit report.

4. Create a Post-Divorce Budget

A complex custody litigation can cost you a lot of money, causing you to miss bills or loan payments, racking up credit card debt, or be subject to a lien on your house. Many people don’t have thousands of dollars on hand and fall behind on other bills. It is crucial to develop a comprehensive financial plan in which you have a very clear understanding of what funds came into the marriage and what funds went out. Make sure to keep tabs on all financial matters including: day-to-day expenses, cost of monthly utilities, mortgage, car payments, etc.

5. Establish a Long-Term Plan

If you have kids, who will pay for the college tuition? If you have a mortgage, how will you split the payments? If your divorce settlement agreement included any lump sum payments such as alimony, pension, or the sale of a home, it is crucial to develop a strategy to manage these assets.

6. Disinherit your Ex-Spouse

People often leave the vast majority, if not all, of their assets to their spouse in their will. It is important to hire an attorney to write and execute a new will, trusts, and power of attorney. If you don’t have a Separation Agreement signed by you and your spouse, your ex-spouse might still be able to inherit all of your property if you pass away before the judgment of your divorce is granted.

7. Change the Beneficiaries on your Life Insurance, 401k Pension and IRA Accounts

Do you want your soon to be ex-spouse making possible life and death decisions on your behalf? It is crucial to change the beneficiary designations as soon as your divorce is final to ensure that your ex-Spouse is no longer your beneficiary on any life insurance policies, retirement accounts, pensions, wills, trusts and annuities.

8. Collaborative Divorce

An option gaining popularity is collaborative divorce. In a collaborative divorce, each party has its own lawyer, just as with a traditional divorce. The difference is, the lawyers and their clients will work and meet together to reach a harmonious result, which can save you money. Each spouse hires a specially trained collaborative attorney who will assist in negotiating a settlement agreement. However, this may not work for everyone. If you have a spouse who intimidates you and who you feel uncomfortable around, having one lawyer handling your divorce simply may not work. It especially isn’t a good idea if there have been domestic abuse issues and you are not comfortable seeing your spouse often to negotiate the terms of your divorce.

9. Spousal Social Security Benefits

Not all spouses are aware of how Social Security works with respect to marriage, divorce, death and remarriage. But you should be! Unlike spousal benefits, both ex-spouses can collect this benefit off the other’s record at the same time. Divorcing just shy of the 10 years can deny a person — man or woman — many thousands of dollars in divorced-spouse benefits. According to the Social Security Administration, even if you are divorced, you can receive benefits based on your ex-spouse’s record (even if your ex-spouse has remarried) if:

• Your marriage lasted 10 years or longer;
• You are not married;
• Your ex-spouse is age 62 or older;
• The benefit that you are entitled to receive as an ex-spouse, is greater than the benefit you would receive based on your own work record; and
• You are entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits.

10. Develop your Career

If you put your career aside to concentrate on your family, now is the perfect time to fulfill your ambitions. After your divorce is final, you will need to figure out a way to support yourself and your children, should you have any. You also have to think ahead and plan for the expenses of tuition, rent, mortgages, and other bills that will now be paid without the supplemental income of your spouse. Looking at this time as a period of self-exploration is one way to overcome feelings of isolation and fear. You can also explore untapped interests as an outlet to positively let go of the grief brought on by divorce and redefine yourself. Take up new hobbies, activities, and interests — expand yourself. Stay busy in a constructive way.

For legal assistance with your divorce or separation, contact us at The Law Offices Of Inna Vernikov, PLLC at (212) 719-3497 or at info@vmlawnyc.com

Disclaimer: This post might be considered Attorney Advertisement by some bar associations. Prior results do not imply similar outcomes. This communication does not imply an Attorney-Client relationship.

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1. Love Does Not Hurt

If it hurts, it is not love. Your relationship should erase your tears, not your smile. True love does not hurt, it heals. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts, envy hurts—but in reality, love does not hurt. There will be a time when the horrors you are experiencing in the breakup of your marriage will end and you will find peace.

2. If the Person Loves You, He/She Will Come Back

When people leave for good, the love is over. If the person leaves, be glad! That person obviously didn’t love you the way you loved them. Why would you want to be saddled with someone who doesn’t love you enough to stay? You deserve better. Don’t feel sad over someone who gave up on you, feel sorry for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them.

3. Never Settle for Less than you Deserve

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. Once you realize you deserve better, letting go will be the best decision ever. If they don’t respect, appreciate, and value you, then they don’t deserve you. The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do. Never settle for less than you deserve.

4. Don’t Forget your Own Worth.

If you were constantly trying to prove yourself to your ex in your relationship, you probably forgot your own worth. It’s time to start remembering. There is no room in your life for people who belittle you and make you feel bad.

5. You Can Survive.

No one ever died from heartbreak. Heartbreak ends, it’s not forever. We can endure much more than we give ourselves credit for. Being alone doesn’t mean being isolated and never again being in a relationship. There are millions of people living alone in this world today. That means 30 million possible opportunities for connections—whether it be friends or relationships.

6. If He/She Doesn’t Fight For You, He/She Doesn’t Love you

Did your loved one walk away easily? Quit in couple’s counseling? Easily break up? Does he or she never defend or appreciates you? Then you’re better off without that person.

7. You Will Move On.

You won’t truly forget someone you loved, but eventually, you won’t care anymore. Even if you were married or in a relationship for several years, the feelings will fade. Spend your new spare time by engaging in an activity you have put off for years—play sports, take cooking classes, sign up for yoga, travel. You will find solace in doing something you have been wanting to enjoy for years. There is life after divorce!

8. Each Relationship is a Chance to Learn

Nothing is ever perfect. To live and love is to change and to grow. Growth is conditional, it only happens when we choose to embrace change one moment at a time. Relationships change over time, and each relationship is a chance to learn.

9. Not Everyone Says I Love You and Actually Means It

Some people say it when they are lonely. Some people say it when they know it’s what you want to hear. Some people don’t mean it. Talk is cheap.

10. You Can’t Change Him/Her

You can’t change your ex because you love him/her, they have to change themselves if they love you. Stop believing you can make something or someone to be what you want if you just try hard enough. If you think you would change for that person, don’t assume they would change for you.

11. You Will Know If You Are Valued

If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have already forgotten your own value. Being seen by others starts with seeing, loving, valuing, and appreciating yourself first. Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

12. Being Single Is Better Than Being Sad and Coupled

Would you rather be lonely in a relationship or single with limitless opportunities? Do you want to continue being beat down and depressed like you were during your relationship? Are you tired of being tired? It is up to you to decide how your days will be. Be positive, you will feel better. Give back, volunteer in the community, think positively, speak positively, and you will heal your soul.

13. Forgive and Move Forward

Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Forgiveness is critical in every relationship. Letting go of the desire to “need” a person renounces the right to hold resentment and stopping the flame of anger. Forgiveness is about you—it is YOUR choice to let go of the experience of hurt and pain. Instead of holding on to hurt in order to protect yourself from the fear of future pain, you can choose to gift yourself with forgiveness and let go of the resentment.

14. Accept your Divorce

Accept your divorce as reality and be grateful for what you have. This is an extremely important step in the divorce recovery process. Mourning the loss of “what could have been” is natural and common, but getting stuck in the past only hurts you. Accept the way your life is now; not how you think it should be. Give up the blame, bitterness, and regret. It may be easier said than done, but nothing worthwhile in life is accomplished without effort.

15. You have to choose happiness

Life after divorce is what you make of it. Do you want to wallow in it or rise above it? How much of your divorce will you carry on a daily basis? It is up to you whether you grow or continue to look behind you. So decide, because no one else has that power, not your ex, not your attorney, not your friends or family, only you.

For legal assistance with your divorce or separation, contact us at The Law Offices Of Inna Vernikov, PLLC at (212) 719-3497 or at info@vmlawnyc.com

Disclaimer: This post might be considered Attorney Advertisement by some bar associations. Prior results do not imply similar outcomes. This communication does not imply an Attorney-Client relationship.

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“If we believe tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today” – Thich Nhat Hanh

It is never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split—and whether you wanted it or not, going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.

1. Don’t focus on the temporary hardship of change

Divorce, like any life transition, is not easy, but it’s no more stressful than the day-to-day of a dysfunctional marriage. Rear view mirrors come with the warning that objects seem larger than they appear; it’s the same with divorce.

2. Believe in the promise of the future

When you commit to another person, you create many hopes, plans and dreams for the future. Once your relationship is over, you realize that you have lost those joint hopes. It is hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones.

3. Recognize that it’s okay to experience different feelings

It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated, and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Day by day, and little by little, you will start moving on.

4. Allow yourself to grieve

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses: loss of companionship, loss of financial and emotional support, and loss of hopes and plans. Allowing yourself to feel the pain of these losses may seem scary. You may even fear that your emotions will trap you in a dark place forever. Just remember that grieving is essential to any healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, remember it won’t last forever.

5. Give yourself a break

Grant yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. The ending of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings, it is normal if you are not able to work at your maximum capacity. You may not be able to work as productively or care for others exactly the way you did prior to the divorce. No one expects you to be superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup, and re-energize.

6. Don’t go through a divorce alone

No single strategy will ease the pain and loss that divorce brings. Support from friends and family is critical to healing after an ending of a relationship. You might feel like you want to be left alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Do not try to go through this breakup on your own. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. You may want to think about joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself from others can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships, and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

7. Take care of yourself

A divorce is a highly stressful, life-changing event. When you’re going through the emotional wringer and dealing with major life changes, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. Treat yourself as if you’re trying to get over the flu: get plenty of rest, minimize the stress in your life, and reduce your workload. Make sure you take time out of each day to nurture yourself. Go for a walk, listen to music, read a good book, or take a hot bath.

8. Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope

When you’re dealing with a break up, you might be tempted to do anything to “relieve” your feelings of pain by resorting to alcohol, drugs, or food. But using these as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It is essential to find healthier ways of coping with the grieving process of a divorce.

9. Explore new interests

A divorce may be the end of a relationship, but it may be the beginning of your new life, a happier life. Take this opportunity to explore and discover new interests that you never thought you had, or never had the time to partake in. Pursue fun activities and allow yourself to enjoy life, rather than dwelling in the past.

10. Redefine yourself

Going through a divorce means no longer being someone’s other half, part of a couple, a reality that can come as a relief or a frightening prospect. For the person who sees him or herself as multifaceted, it is generally a lot easier. But if someone has been nothing but a spouse and saw that as the most important role, it can be pretty crushing. Looking at this time as a period of self-exploration is one way to overcome feelings of isolation and fear. Exploring untapped interests can be both a place to positively let go of the grief brought on by divorce and a way to redefine yourself. Take up new hobbies, activities, interests — expand yourself. Stay busy in a constructive way.

For legal assistance with your divorce or separation, contact us at The Law Offices Of Inna Vernikov, PLLC at (212) 719-3497 or at info@vmlawnyc.com

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1. Even if you have (college) debt and are broke, that will change over time.

Don’t discount a prenup just because you have no assets (yet) or have fewer assets than your future spouse. On the contrary, a prenup may favor the less wealthy party because they may have more catching up to do if the marriage ends. Furthermore, even if all you have at the moment is debt, it is important to envision your future earnings and the capacity of your earning potential. At the very least, a prenup forces you to have a conversation about money.

2. Prenups force you to have “The Money Conversation”

According to a survey by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, nearly 70% of adults said they had negative feelings about discussing money with a fiancé because it will lead to a fight. Money is the topic of conversation that everyone is avoiding, but should be having. More fights in marriage occur over income and expenses, and a prenup forces you to have a straightforward conversation about your financial situation.

3. A Prenup ensures that the marriage is really for the sake of marriage

Not all marriages are fairy tales—occasionally, men and women do really marry people for their money. A prenup can get rid of any lingering suspicions you might have about your spouse by making the idea of marrying someone and divorcing them for half of their assets less probable. If you know you cannot get rich by simply marrying your spouse and stealing their stuff, the only option left is to marry them because you love them!

4. You want to protect your assets

When couples get married without a prenup, assets become so co-mingled that you can no longer ascertain what is yours, your spouse’s, and what is joint property. Sorting out co-mingled property is tedious, expensive, and difficult to prove in court in the case of a divorce.

If you have received, or expect to receive, a big inheritance and want to protect that money in the event of a divorce, a prenup is great idea. A prenup can be used to ensure that other types of assets, such as family antiques, artwork, or collectibles, remain yours  (or your children’s’) if the marriage ends.

5. Divorce is expensive

While we all strive to live “happily ever after”, just like the rest of life, marriage is not certain. Not preparing for the possibility of divorce can cause financial ruin. Prenups are negotiated during a time of peace and love, and the “destruction mode” activated during many divorces can do harm to both parties. Having a prenup ensures that the process will be as speedy and smooth as possible.

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